Summer in Australia

You know you're in Australia in January when:

1. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.
2. Hot water comes out of both taps.
3. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
4. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
5. You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
6. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
7. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
8. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
9. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
10. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
11. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
12. The cows are giving evaporated milk.
13. The trees are whistling for the dogs.
14. While walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the car park.
15. You catch a cold from having the air conditioner full blast while you sleep during the night.
16. You learn that David Jones isn't a department store it's a temple to worship air-conditioning.